This week, Joey, Jarrad McVeigh, Jets, Bevo, Teddy and I all got a review of how our blogs were going on the website, and unfortunately mine was ranked at the bottom of the list. The boys didn’t hesitate to get stuck into me about it, and I’ve spent most of this week wondering what I could write about that would be more interesting than match preparation and game plans and that sort of thing. So I’ve decided to start dishing the dirt on the other blokes and tell you all about our fines system.

The AFL can hand out a fine if a player or coach is found to be in breach of the game’s rules and regulations. But even if you’re the most disciplined, well-behaved player, you’re guaranteed to cop a fine from your teammates at some point in your career for something they think is stupid, or funny, or embarrassing.

At the Swans, we hand out a bunch of fines every few weeks to the players. Some weeks five players get fined, some weeks 20 do. It’s generally only $5, but sometimes if you do something really bad, it can go up to $50. The person who receives the most fines is made the ‘Finemaster’, and they then decide who gets the next lot of fines.

The Finemaster at the moment is Lewis Johnston. I probably don’t need to explain why he received the most fines in the last session - if you’ve seen his new hairdo, you’ll know (and if you haven’t seen it, scroll down for a picture). Unluckily for Lewis, the same week he dyed his hair, his house got broken into and word got back to the rest of us boys that he asked Cambo (Campbell Heath) to sleep over at his place because he was scared. And he was still so scared the next night that he slept over at Cambo’s. He copped a pretty big fine for that.

There’s been a few other good ones recently. Dan Currie got fined for taking a photo of himself with his shirt off and plastering it all over Facebook. Gary Rohan got one shortly after he arrived at the Club for having the Port Adelaide theme song as his phone ringtone. Trent Dennis-Lane got one for typing ‘Jude Bolton and Craig Bolton’ into Google to find out if they were brothers.

Patty Veszpremi has gotten quite a few fines including one that's coming up for spelling the word explosive, ‘xplosive’, in a team meeting. Another fine that will be doled out soon is to Lewis Jetta, who, during a prank call from a ‘journalist’ (me), said that if he had his own band, he’d call them ‘The Jetset Brothers’.

And as regular visitors to our website would know, none of our blogs would be complete without a mention of Kieren Jack. I think his was the best fine (not that he’d ever pay it) handed out to date -for putting his car in neutral as he goes down hills so he can save on petrol.

Hopefully all this insider info will help me climb up the rankings a bit, and won’t cost me too much at the next fines session - I’ll let you know how I go in next week’s blog!

We couldn't look at his hair when he first got it done, it was so blindingly white...