Irish folk travelling through the Australian outback has all the hallmarks of a horror story but thankfully there's only a cheery ending in this Colin O'Riordan tale.
O'Riordan endured a painstaking 4,041km road trip from Darwin to Sydney last week no thanks to an injury suffered in the NEAFL Swans' clash with NT Thunder on August 13.
The 20-year-old was involved in a sickening collision with an opponent which left him with a suspected broken bone in his back and subsequent punctured lung.
Dazed but feeling okay at the time, O'Riordan tried to push through the pain only to realise moments later something was seriously wrong after struggling to break out of a slow jog all the while battling to breath.
Reaching the sidelines once more, O'Riordan couldn't even get out any words to spell out his concerns to the medicos.
"I was going back with the flight of the ball...I tried to get my first to the ball and he got me right in the back and got me straight in the sweet spot," O'Riordan said.
"(Club doctor) Dr David Samra came with to hospital and we went up to see the x-ray. I saw his eyes drop and then his heart sank - he knew then I wasn't flying any time soon.
"It was the worst possible result."
One of the many long straights between Darwin and Sydney. This was taken near Mount Isa, Queensland.
O'Riordan, with injured Swan and assistant coach Alex Johnson by his side, spent three nights in Darwin's hospital while plans were made to get him home.
Unfortunately, flying back was not an option. Nursing such an injury through the altitude increase and the cabin pressure drop could have induced a collapsed lung and put O'Riordan at risk of more serious complications.
Fortunately, former Swans captain and current welfare manager Dennis Carroll, accompanied by local paramedic Mark Furner, came to his player's aid as he’s done many times before.
The rescue party flew the four hours to Darwin and, with the generosity of Volkswagen and Europcar, were able to hire a car for the painstaking crawl back from the Top End to the Harbour City.
Carroll, a Team of the Century member and who's been in charge of player welfare for the past seven seasons, had to carefully plan the route to ensure they were within cooee of the Royal Flying Doctor Service and an appropriate medical facility in case anything was to go awry.
From dawn to dusk over four days, they stopped over in the NT township of Tennant Creek before staying two nights in the Queensland towns of Winton and Goondiwindi, before reaching the Pacific Motorway and the home straight into Sydney.
The desolate landscape of the Australian outback was an eye-opener for someone so used to the greenery of Ireland's County Tipperary.
"My brother messaged me before I left saying it was the equivalent of driving from Dublin to Athens, so that put it into perspective for me," O'Riordan said.
"It's pretty extreme to be honest. It's barren out there, nothing as far as the eye can see. Just flat land and desert. You wouldn't want to break down out there, that's for sure.
"The road trip itself was actually pretty good. It didn't feel as long as it is on a map. Dennis and Mark made the trip a lot easier even though the chat died off pretty quickly."
O'Riordan in front of the Walkabout Creek Hotel in McKinlay, Queensland, where parts of Crocodile Dundee was filmed.
O'Riordan will be spending the next three to four weeks recuperating at his Maroubra home, shared with teammates Aliir Aliir and Tom Papley.
His season is over as the code convert won't be able to start training in any capacity until his back and lungs are fully healed.
"I can't do a bike session or go for a swim, not a thing, so that's probably the biggest and most frustrating thing about it," he added. "But, looking back, I could be a lot worse off."
The injury is a blow for O'Riordan who has starred for the NEAFL Swans this season. His efforts have not only impressed teammates and coaches but were recognised at league level with a place in the Team of the Year announced at Sunday night's awards ceremony.
Shattered by missing out on the upcoming finals series O'Riordan – with his lungs mended and at working again – remains resolute and is already looking forward to his next pre-season and building on what's been a strong start to his AFL career.
That mended lung will also come in handy when he flies back to Ireland for Christmas, where he'll be keen to share with family and friends the tale of his epic Aussie adventure.