Dear Ted,
Hope all is going well. I’ve been watching a lot of the Australian Open and it got me thinking.

My question is: If the Swans had a tennis tournament, who would win?

Yours sincerely
A Sanchez-Vicario

Dear A,
Thanks for your interesting letter.
I’m currently addicted to the TV show ‘Boardwalk Empire’ but I’ve been watching the tennis too. From memory Craig Bolton, Jared Crouch and Ben Matthews were all good tennis players, but I couldn’t tell you who would win if the current crop of players had a hit.

This question has got me thinking though. If the Swans had a tournament in certain sports, who would win?

So here are the individuals who I think excel in particular sports:

Golf: N Malceski. Plays right handed and is incredible considering he has only been playing the game for a few years.

Cycling: R O’Keefe. Ok he does ride a bike that costs more than most guys’ cars but he would win the Tour De Swans easily.

Basketball: J White. Honourable mention: S Reid.

Swimming: LRT. He is such a good swimmer and with his long hair he reminds me at times of Kevin Costner from Waterworld. Except LRT is more entertaining.

Cricket: Best: J Moore. Honourable mention: Arrogantly, myself for my unplayable wrong un’s. Some say they’re so good that not even I can predict where they’re going. Worst: Nick Smith. He claims that the ‘arm ball’ is an under-rated ball in cricket (a slow ball that doesn’t spin). He only bowls arm balls.

Rugby Union: M Pyke. Still goes on about his intercept against the All Blacks.

Rugby League: S Mumford. Honourable mention: Kieren Jack (I’m sure to get some feedback from Kieren regarding the placings in this category)

Taekwondo: E Kruger

Netball: G Rohan, who beat his sister to the best and fairest award

Talking underwater: D Hannebery

Best at useless trivia: M Spangher

Going to the movies a lot to watch crap movies: S Reid

Coffee drinking: B McGlynn. Honourable mention: D Hannebery

Wearing shorts and thongs all year round: J Moore

Canteen Award: Pie and Coke this week goes to General Manager of Communications at the Swans, Jenny McAsey. Jenny has resigned from her role and I’d like to thank Jenny for all the help she’s given me producing these reports over the years. She’s edited my poor grammar and spelling, and often censored certain things too. Thank you Jenny for all your help.

Song of the week: With Australia Day approaching I asked Dan Hannebery to pick a song that would be appropriate for this week. He told me to just play “Levels” by Avicii. Thanks Dan, not really relevant to Australia Day at all, but here it is - click here.

Hope you have a great Australia Day!

Ted Richards
@richards_report